War of Cowardice

I was in the middle of a battlefield. Gun shots, explosion filled the entire forest. Rooted to the spot, I was spinning, looking on desperately as comrades and enemies charging at each other all around me. I was unarmed, without any ammunition or did I forget that I was holding a rifle around me? Who were those people? I tried to shoot but I couldn't! Who were my comrades? Who were those enemies? Nothing on the field could render any help in recognising who were whom. Suddenly, something struck me. The next minute, I was running all around, escaping. Away and far from where they were. But I could not find any cover. Like a lunatic just escaped from the asylum, I sprinted so fast that I could match a deer! I ran in all directions. I could tell there were a lot of eyes looking at me but I kept on running cause I couldn't stop! A few of them were chasing me, trying to grab me, trying to pin me down. This battle was too much for me. All that was left in me was cowardice and desperation. I witnessed dying bodies lying everywhere, fresh blood dyeing the green forest red. I could not remember how long and how far I ran. Finally, I guess I was caught.

I was drenched in perspiration. I was in a room with people surrounding me. What have I done? I was wet from head to toe. Those people were not the enemies, they were my teachers. Why was I here? Finally, I woke up and my head was in pain. I threw up. Was something trying to reenact the scene using me? Or was I that coward once?

So busy I didn't have time to. I've been searching for nice tees but I couldn't find any. So I came up with something simple. Hopefully, cheap too. Have been doing this like forever but never did. Now wishing something could come out of this real soon. I will try to get new stories back here, but meanwhile stay with me!

Almost-Ed

You said you were sorry
You said it's all your fault
You cried miserably

I said it's alright
I said it's not your fault
You cried dramatically

I consoled you the other way round
You hugged me all around
We parted ways this time round

If letting go was what you want
I'd released the rope

I lived in the shadow
You shine in the bright
I stumbled and fell
While you climb and triumph

Since you show me the way
I have no choice but to leave

Those times we spent
Were nothing compared to your fun
Forsaken were my commitments
There you threw them all around

Your tears are precious
Don't you cry again

I tried to stay strong
I tried to hide it all
I have hidden them well
But I just can't deceive myself

All the best I'm wishing you
As for the rest, please do not turn back

A poem dedicated to my dear colleague.

Quote of the day

This is hilarious. Classic comment after Liverpool won 2-0. Is it sarcasm or pure stupidity? Anyways, Torres' goal was tremendous. Well, enjoy.

'It wasn't working for them. That is why they brought on three substitutes. One at £25m, one at £11m and one at £5m. I think there should be cap on the price of players you can bring on, maybe no more than £20m of players.'

quoted by Fulham boss Lawrie Sanchez

*contents taken from soccernet.com

MIG II - Man In God II

I met God once and I was even God for once. So after that incident, I did not believe in ghost, spirit nor Satan. Till one day, I encountered it.

This girl was around the age of 15. When I first saw it, I almost shitted in my pants. She had the most terrifying features. Her eyes were hollow and bleeding from all her crying. The dried blood stick to her cheek. Her face was as pale as a sheet.

With my elbow touching my foot, I sat in that position for 15 minutes. I was sniffing my stuff. Reaching the peak, I gasped. My eyes were looking at each other. The aroma was getting the better of me when she appeared right in front. Imagine having to stand on the highest mountain on earth, Mount Ang Mo Kio, taking in the essence of the quality air up there and suddenly, an Ice Big-Foot appeared right in front of you. I was at the peak of the kicks and I felt this in my heart. She terrorised me instantly with her deadly stare. Her face was just 2 centimeters away from mine. I did not move an inch. I could smell the stench from her mouth.

Drop that, you pathetic drug abuser!

She demanded with her bassly voice. I was dumbfounded. Looking straight into her eyes, everything flashed in my head. It happened within a second. I dropped the packet I was holding and crawled away from her. Each attempt to crawl away from her, I was being drawn back to the same spot. I was crawling on the spot! With my head still containing the drugs' effect, I could feel Fear. Never once did I feel Fear feeding on drugs. It supposed to supply Courage, not Fear! I was still looking down at the ground, my limps were moving non-stop. Hoping she could lift off the curse any second and I could crawl away soon. But that wasn't the case.

I need you to help me and I promise you will never regret it. Are you going to take this deal bitch?

Of course! Are you kidding? I'll do anything!

But those words of mine, I could not move a single muscle to open my mouth. My pants were wet by this time.

I don't think you have any choice here. Take me to the place where you met that asshole.

..Who?

Stop playing dumb you fuckbag, that piece of old shit that let you played him for once.

Ookaay, I guessss that God? I thinnnk I er..

Move your ass bitch!

I reached the place where I've met God. Everything seemed like it just happened yesterday. The pool of flames and the christians. That demon started chanting some unknown language which sounded like Spanish to me. Then, this old man appeared. He was the God! The both of them stared at each other for the longest time. Turning their heads towards me, I was rooted to the spot once again. There I was brought to another dimension again.

In this dimension, there was only the three of us. And in front of me now, was two pools of flames! One pool with christians in it and the other, with all the satanists. All of them were crying and screaming from the endless pain they were suffering. Both God and Satan started to bombard me with questions.

O son, you disappointed me with your last decision. But, it's alright. Everyone makes mistake. I know you regret your choice. Now, you'll have another chance to redeem yourself.

Shut the fuck up oldfuck. You know shit! I will reward him with all the 3-Ps. Everything to gain rather than having to save lives and ended up sniffing his pathetic glue! Eh bitch, all the 3-Ps. Power, Possession and Pussies. Are you in for it?

O son, hear no evil. Don't let him influence your kind heart. Make your choice son.

Kill all the muthufucking christians and the 3-Ps are yours PAL!

Their noises were making me irritated. I inspected my surrounding. It was the same. Kerosene on my left and fire-proof lifebuoys on my right. The two pools' flames were getting so hot that I could feel it even standing metres away. The two of them were still debating while their people down there were screaming for help. I thought it over. I think I gotta save them all. I took all the lifebuoys and threw them all into the two pools. One by one, they swam their way to safety. They were all by the side of the pool, not believing that they survived the ordeal. Satan and God were shocked that I saved all of them. Their eyes in disbelief, Why did you save them all? You had only one choice!

Now, it's your turn to try your own shit! Get into the pool both of you!

I was backed up by all the people whom I saved. I instructed all of them to get the two of them into the pools! One in each! There, Satan and God being submerged in their own creations! Screaming and yelling for help.

No help this time my son, I told God.
Not this time, you muthufucking BITCH! I yelled at Satan.

With that, I poured all the remaining kerosene into the pools. Burn mutherfuckha BURN! Their screams continued for another minute. This time after a minute, there wasn't any more sound coming from within. Instead, I heard applauses and cheering. I turned around. All of them were kneeling and praying to me. Their lives were saved by me. I was their new God. Or Satan? I guess, Godan. They offered their eternity's devotion to me. I was the new breed of God and Satan. Their creation. Their product.

There, conquering this fucked up world and turning it into my own ideal world. With my very own pioneer group of devotees. I aimed to bring a whole new level.

Ask.
Change.
Create.

I just scrambled everything here. And I can never stop. Sometimes, I type without thinking. I apologise if the contents offended you. And if you think some are rubbish, let those rubbish stay and you shall move on.

Jenni

I was with this lady. I met her when I was hospitalised a year ago. She was five years elder than me. She was gorgeous. She was every men's dream. Having her means everything to anyone. Her name was Jenni. But her husband thought elsewise. Her husband was rich. She need not worry over her meals and expenses. All was taken care of. She had all the branded stuffs from handbag to even her lingerie. But she just wanted love. She wanted care, concern and attention from him. He was always busy with work. Coming back from work late at nights was understandable, but having lipstick marks on him was too much. She couldn't take it. She was always crying. Till she met me. The cries was replaced by smiles on her face. I could see she was very happy. I was happy too. We met almost everyday.

She showered me with expensive gifts and her utmost love. She would drive me anywhere. She would pay for our meals and expenses. She even rented a condominium and offered me to stay with her. Why not? I could get to see her everyday. Other than all that, each time we met, she would buy me an apple. Puzzled by that, one day, I asked her.

Why apple, gorgeous?

When I was dating with my husband, he would buy me an apple everyday. Those were the sweet times. But now.. well, so I hope our love and time spent together will be as sweet. Don't you be like him one day!

I noticed that her eyes were red by the time she finished. So not to further rub it in, I stopped asking. I stole a glance at her. Her lips was tilted upwards. She was smiling while tears slipped from her watery, sparking eyes. The smile was telling me, For all the unhappy past I had, they are all parried away the day I met you. I am so glad and fortunate to have you. I will never forget that smile. It was the sweetest smile I've ever witnessed. I dried her tears as she embraced me. It was, indeed, the best moment in my life.

Though the five years age gap, there wasn't anything we would not talk about. We were very close. She would tell me everything about her and I would tell her too. We were just like a normal couple. Just that I was with a married lady.

Everything went smoothly till one day. She stopped contacting me. I was devastated. My world seemed to be collapsing. There wasn't any light. I tried calling her, messaging her. I never did succeed. The place where we called home was so quiet without her. I tried for weeks. Finally she replied my text message,

Don't call me anymore. I think we should put a stop to our relationship. Take care, Bye.

Why? Did he find out about us? He wants you back? Please, why?

He apologised for everything he did. I guess I still love him. The time you and me spent together were really sweet. Thanks for everything and making me the lady that was showered with the love, care and concern. I will miss the times we spent together. Take care my love, bye.

With that, she did not reply any further. I called her. I tried every means of getting her back. But to no avail. The time without her was agonising. Months later, I received a phone call that she passed away. The caller was anonymous and that lady gave me an address. I rushed over and arrived at this grand mansion. Inside the compound, I saw Jenni's car! Wanting to find out more from her family or even her husband, I shouted. Her servant was at the door. She let me in without asking me any question. I was puzzled. Did her servant know about my relation with her? I wandered to the living room and happened to come across a photo of us on the table. It was last taken when we met up. I was hugging her and both of us were smiling happily.

Something is wrong here!

Seeing nobody was around except for the servant, I rushed up the stairs to her room, simply not giving a damn whether her husband was around. I seem to know where her room was. I opened the door, and I was taken aback by what greeted me. The huge master bedroom was so grand, with all their pictures framed all over the wall. There was this huge picture on the wall. It was their wedding photo. I went over to inspect closer at her husband. I wanted to see for myself who was the bastard that had that luck to have such a gorgeous and wonderful wife.

I was shocked. That face, that guy looked familiar! That.. that bastard was me! I retreated with disbelief. I was puzzled. What on earth? I looked around at all the pictures in the room. Those photographs are those we took when we were together! Just then, her servant stepped into the room.

Sir, you're finally back. Madam instructed me to hand you this letter.

Hey Love,
You're finally back in our own home. Remember you told me that you don't love me? I did not take those words. I know you love me. Now I know you really do. I will always love you too. I know this seems too sudden for you to take it. But you see my love, you had an accident. You lost your memory and you couldn't remember me. Maybe it was a good thing. Before you had that accident, you said you wanted a divorce. And after that accident, you couldn't remember anything about us. So I guess that accident helped to savage our love. But please forgive me my love. I know I'm selfish but I am so scare. So scare that if I were to tell you about all these beforehand. I would lose you. So I rather not. I chose to have a fresh start with you. Sorry for not answering your calls, I did not want you to hear my dying voice, see my dying looks. I just want you to have the best of me, not the worst of me. You see, I contacted cancer all these years and only found out months ago. Sorry for being selfish and all the happy times we had, I will never forget them. Thanks for giving us another chance. I love you always. You are the apple of my eye too. Your sweet love for me, are all in the cabinet.
Goodbye, my love.

Your Apple, Jenni

Hey love, why an apple every single day?

Cause.. You're the apple of my eye, Jenni. And I want to show you that no apple is sweeter than you.

I opened up her cabinet. Thousands of apples filled the whole interior of it. Those were the apples I gave to her. I broke down in tears. Sorry. Now that I recalled, my apologies came a little too late.

She wrote..

I wrote about her, I wrote to her. Enough of my words to her. She wrote to me too.

4/13/2005 10:42:25 PM *[t|n9]* i miss u
4/13/2005 10:56:00 PM *[t|n9]* i missx the way u hug mi
4/13/2005 10:56:13 PM *[t|n9]* the way u wan stuck ur legs within mine
4/13/2005 10:56:32 PM *[t|n9]* the way u scold mi stupid when i played games
4/13/2005 10:56:38 PM *[t|n9]* and u wana try it on
4/13/2005 10:56:47 PM *[t|n9]* i missx u and ur everything
4/13/2005 10:56:53 PM *[t|n9]* im sorrie wat've i done
4/13/2005 10:56:59 PM *[t|n9]* im sorrie


Finally, I revived the 1.58mb chat logs. At least, I can smile back on everything we had.

:)

I don't love you.

You asked me, When is the rain going to end? I told you, It's not going to stop till you say 'Yes'. The heavy rain pouring down regardlessly. Somehow, I felt awful to the silence. The tapping of rain drops did not help at all. The silence was too concentrated. As we stood under the shelter, I could see every single detail of her pale face.

Can you tell me where is the rainbow? The heavy downpour is affecting my vision. I don't see any. I want to tell him that so bad. Tell him that I can't, I can't take that feeling back. How I wish this rain could stop. So I could just run away from him. I can't bring myself to say Yes. I say nothing at all. To think that this rain will stop, it never did and never will.

I buried it in my head for too long. I didn't think that it could just escape my lips just like that. I uttered something and ran away from the rain. Or did I try to escape from her? I guess it can't be helped. As I ran, there wasn't any sound from her still. I did not turn back. As I ran, my legs hurt but I can't stop now. I could not bring myself to face her again. It was all my fault.

He mumbles, Sorry and run away. I can't bring myself to stop him. I stand there looking at him. As he distances away, I feel that I have lost something. Something important. A raindrop lands on one of my slippers. As I look down, another drop lands. It was not the rain from the sky. It was the rain from my eyes. The next moment, I cry. How could he said that? How could I say Yes? I am supposed to be the one running away.

Can you let me go? Thinking about the question makes me guilty. To date, I still can't find any better option than running away. I don't mean it, girl. I am sorry. I am not worthy for you.

The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there was three little pigs. They were growing up to be some fine pigs so their mum decided to let them go out to the world to find their own homes. So three of them left for the forest. They came across this straw man and a whole mountain of straws. The first pig decided to build it's house with straws, so he got some straws and started building it. The two other pigs continued their way to find other means of building their homes. They came across this woodcutter with piles of wood. So the second pig asked for some wood and he got it. So he got some wood and started building his house. The last pig continued his way in the forest. He happened to come across this construction bangala with bricks. He asked for some bricks to build it's house, so he got some bricks and started building it.

Finally, the three pigs finished building their own homes. Relaxing in their own homes with a cup of hot tea sure made their day. Looking at the furnishes and their first home they built. They were very proud indeed. Golden strips of sunlight escaped from the horizon as the sun made her way home. It was getting dark and the first pig was getting ready to sleep when he heard a voice out from the front door of his straw house.

Hey pig hey pig, could you let me in so I could eat you as my dinner?

No no big bad wolf, I won't open up and you won't get a piece of me!

Then in that case, I will have to use force!

So the big bad wolf huffed and puffed. He managed to blow the whole of the straw house down. The first pig ran as fast as it could.

Fuck that straw man! Why didn't he warn me about the weak straw? Nooooooo

But how could he outrun the big bad wolf? It was after all, just a pig. Pigs are stupid, right? As a result, the first pig was eaten as an appetiser. So the big bad wolf walked on to find it's main course for the night. And then he saw this wood house.

Hey pig hey pig, could you let me in so I could eat you as my dinner?

No no big bad wolf, I won't open up and you won't get a piece of me!

Then in that case, I will have to use force!

So the big bad wolf huffed and puffed. He manged to blow the door of the wood house down. The second pig was trapped.

Fuck that woodcutter! Why didn't he remind me to build a back door? Nooooooo

How could he forget to build a back door? It was after all, just a pig. Pigs are stupid, right? As a result, the second pig was eaten as the main course. So the big bad wolf walked on to find it's desert for the night. And then he saw this brick house.

Hey pig hey pig, could you let me in so I could eat you as my dinner?

No no big bad wolf, I won't open up and you won't get a piece of me!

Then in that case, I will have to use force!

So the big bad wolf huffed and puffed. But no matter how he huffed and puffed, the brick house did not move an inch! Not even a centimeter! So he decided to climb up the brick house through the chimney to enter the house. In the end, he was being cooked dinner for the third pig instead! Big Bad Curry Wolf!

Hahahaha, look how clever am I as a pig? Don't you agree? I am such a genius!


From this classic story, can we see something common in us humans too? More than often in life, when things are fucked up somewhere, we don't look at ourselves as the mistake. Often or not, we shift the blame on others so that it could possibly make us feel better. Ultimately, when things are going our way, we don't look at others as the considering factor. We don't pinpoint at others. Instead, we direct all the praises and credits to ourselves. Look at the third pig. Did he even thank the bangala who gave him the bricks? All in his head was probably, I am the man! YAY! Would you ever think of others when you succeed? Well, maybe..

We are after all, just humans. Humans are selfish, right?

Src of '3 little pigs' picture// Unknown

Those words.

As she turns away,
My hand stays
She didn't let it go
Her teary eyes look into mine
My heart glitters with hope once again

Why did you say all those words?
Take those words back and go

As she distances away,
My mind does not render much help
The words appear so clear in my head
But those words..
Yet those words just don't seem to reach out

Why did you say all those words?
Take them back and go

As she speaks tearfully
All those words..
Does it make sense at all?
Her actions contradicting every word
How I wish she could just speak nothing at all

Why did you say all those words?
Take those words back and go

As she leaves
My heart sinks without a fight
And after all this while and all the tears
It's when you hope she could stay
Well, that was yesterday

Why did you say all those words?
Take them back and go

As I cried from bleeding long time ago
I discovered those words were only words
Looking up at the bright blue sky questions my persistence
Should I stay or should I go?
All the answers seem so clear to me now

Why did you say all those words?
Take those words back and go
Do you even have the guts to say
'I don't love you'
And maybe..
I would not try so hard

Inspired by I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance