Without you, I'm nothing.

I owned everything to him. It caused him his life, and duly, served me right. The guilt fencing around my heart robbed me of every possible way of regenerating new cell membrane in my head. Those nights I've never thought I would make it and those times I've never thought of running through are all additional burdens. Who said What doesn't kill you makes you stronger? I am still standing here, with my two feet on the ground and both arms raising high, taking these fucking torments in my stride, not able to continue what I was supposed to. I was not made to be like what I am now, but I was forced to. I'd never believe in drinking my sorrows away. Now that I do, those enlightenment don't seem to make sense anymore. Does my wrongdoing serve any purpose? If that's so, please tell me so, GOD. Please grant me that halo you've given to countless of angels. I need it so badly than any other divines cause what these I've been through were much worse than anyone of them had! If I was the one at fault, punish me you bag. If you thought that having him gone could make my heart bled for the rest of my life, reflecting on the wrongdoing I'd make, well fuck you! If you believe in karma, I believe in having chain anal sex with all the Men in the Multiverse!

To my best mate, you're like a brother to me. My negligence cost you your life, I would never forgive myself. For everything that GOD had given me, I overcame them. Without you, I'm nothing. These eyes of mine seeing you all over me. This should be the solution to the root. I dug my eyes out and replaced with yours but it got worse.

Now, with my new looks exactly like yours, I thought this ordeal would stop but I was wrong again. Nothing exists without you. With you in and out of me, should I kill you a second time?

Face your darkest fear.

I was brought to reality once again. I woke up only to find myself contained high up in the sky. I thought I was falling down. I shut my eyes. But there wasn't any wind resistance. I peeked. No doubt I was still lying down, the bright blue sky was still there. I was still here. I was lying on thin air? I got up and felt the ground I was lying on. Glass. I was lying on transparent glass here in the middle of the skies? What the fuck? I stood up and trembled as I looked down what's beneath me. Forests, islands and waters! My legs failed me immediately. I collapsed on the glass. I was too high up here, I couldn't breathe. I gasped for oxygen and I couldn't believe it. The air up here was so fresh. Lying motionlessly, I was too afraid to move an inch. I was so scared that I would just drop. I was trembling with fear. What seemed to be for hours, I lied there, not moving a muscle for height was one of my greatest fear.

I felt a tingle in my spine. I heard it. A crack. I tilted my head and I saw something cracked. Another crack followed by a whole series of cracking sound! The glass was cracking! Oh no! I restricted my movement and slowly got up. The glass is giving way! I ran away from the cracking glass and away. The next thing I realised, I was running so far away. The entire ground I was standing on was glass and the cracking did not stop! It was spreading so fast that the whole ground would break in no time! The glass behind me cracked opened and the next thing I knew it, I was being pursuit by flying cockroaches! I ran as fast as I could. Imagine being chased by thousands of roaches and running like a lunatic in mid air. This must be another nightmare again! I must wake up.

Suddenly, the glass gave way. I fell. Down and out, I opened my eyes. Darkness surrounded me. I tried to reach for anything around me. I felt so itchy. I felt this lever on top of me and I pushed it open. I saw light and the box I was in was falling! I was lying in a coffin of roaches! Thousands and millions of them! All over me. I screamed as the coffin door shut itself on me. I felt these roaches reaching all over me and I was falling. As I lied in the falling dark coffin with roaches all over me, I knew it. All these, were not any of those nightmares I had before. They were my darkest fears. There wasn't any exit for me now.

The Sweetest Christmas Present.

There was this little boy named Evan. He was ten years old. All he wanted for Christmas was to play happily with his friends. But he couldn't even walk without gasping for breath, let alone running around with his friends. He spent most of his time on the wheel chair. The chemotherapy had shed all of his hair, leaving him with none on top. Looking like an alien from outer space, his face turned paler as each day passed by. It was soon to be. His time was in due course, leaving this world soon and having his days numbered. He knew all this but just by smiling all day long, he could keep everyone around him stronger, happier by each day.

One night, his younger sister, Alma was at home alone while Evan was away for chemotherapy. She always refused to let anyone touch her hair. She was obsessed with her silky long hair despite her young age. That night, she was ransacking the whole house for something. Finally, she found what she wanted. A pair of scissors! She looked in the mirror on the dressing table and started cutting her long silky hair!

Her parents and Evan were back. Alma rushed to the door. With her hair messed up, her parents were taken aback by what happened. Alma handed her hair to her bald brother and with a smile on her face,

Merry Christmas Evan, this is my Christmas present for you!



A story I edited from this video. Enjoy.

Merry Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas Eve to all! While all of you are enjoying, celebrating, partying and drinking, there is a person who is unable to do what you are doing. He is busying PROTECTING while all of you are counting down the Christmas. That person is not Santa Claus. He is no other than ME!

I hate my job. Well, I'll try to write a sad Christmas story for all of you guys to read.

Merry Christmas to you too.

:/

(Untitled Post)

I can feel it.

Can you feel it too?

The Ghost Of You

It's enough, honey. It's time to stop this. It's been two and a half years. You do not need to punish me by doing this. Moreover, I did nothing wrong. It was you, remember? If I was the one begging for communication, then be it a one-way drive. But the communication I was pleading for isn't what you think it is. Just the two of us, and only consists what's between us, that's all. If you think having multiple parties is fun, like what history depicted itself, I won't approve that. Stop sending third parties like what you did all this while. You're not helping me at all. Your possessions are all stored in this silly little yellow box. A silly yellow box, that's all. Stop wasting my time. You are no longer here. I'm still a part of this world. Do me a favour, baby. Stop your hauntings. Those torments are alarming. They are tearing my head apart. It's going to burst any minute. Stop those ghosts from coming here again. It's getting nowhere, really. I've got over your death so please stop being selfish. Let me live my life. If all these hallucinations were genuine, then you're fake. Stop freaking me out, leave me alone.

Are you out there?
No, you're not.

I am afraid, so afraid..

Desaturated tragedy.

Well trapped in this transparent cube I called home, I'd sometimes yearned to roam the world on the other side. Though she provided me with everything I needed, I was never satisfied. From the color stones to the color marbles she changed, I'd never once interested with those. I only played with the mini soft ball she bought when she was around looking on. She did everything she thought was necessary to give me an extravagant life. She even placed our photo just outside my tank allowing me to admire. She doted on me so much. Lucky was the name she gave me but I did not even know her name! I was the luckiest chameleon. A pretty owner and a pretty cube I called home. What more could I ask for?

How I wish I could lie with you.

I turned blue. She had this guy to argue with every night. He was one of the ugliest man I've ever seen. He was much worse than her old man! If I ever had the chance to unleash, he would be dead before me. Why would humans like my pretty owner chose a beast like him to be a partner? She would cried for hours in front of me. I couldn't understand much. She was a human being afterall.

If you could give me one chance. Just once.

I turned red. That beast was staring at me. I couldn't tolerate his behavior anymore. Making faces and knocking on my tank, he was courting death! He reached in for me. My chance! I took a bite and bit off his finger! He landed on the floor screaming for help. I was out of the cube by now and I took my chance well. I reached my tongue aiming straight to his eyes. He was rolling on the floor helplessly. He grabbed my tail and threw me against the wall. I was so white. I couldn't breathe! I was gasping for breath as..

I died a happy pet. This tragedy.. is a worthy one.

She came into the room and scoped me up with both of her hands. She cuddled me and I felt tears. Finally, all those tears, these were for me. I smiled as she kissed me. I died a happy green chameleon. My death brought me life. Finally I repaid her. If there's one thing I could exchange my colors with,

I would like to learn your name.

War of Cowardice

I was in the middle of a battlefield. Gun shots, explosion filled the entire forest. Rooted to the spot, I was spinning, looking on desperately as comrades and enemies charging at each other all around me. I was unarmed, without any ammunition or did I forget that I was holding a rifle around me? Who were those people? I tried to shoot but I couldn't! Who were my comrades? Who were those enemies? Nothing on the field could render any help in recognising who were whom. Suddenly, something struck me. The next minute, I was running all around, escaping. Away and far from where they were. But I could not find any cover. Like a lunatic just escaped from the asylum, I sprinted so fast that I could match a deer! I ran in all directions. I could tell there were a lot of eyes looking at me but I kept on running cause I couldn't stop! A few of them were chasing me, trying to grab me, trying to pin me down. This battle was too much for me. All that was left in me was cowardice and desperation. I witnessed dying bodies lying everywhere, fresh blood dyeing the green forest red. I could not remember how long and how far I ran. Finally, I guess I was caught.

I was drenched in perspiration. I was in a room with people surrounding me. What have I done? I was wet from head to toe. Those people were not the enemies, they were my teachers. Why was I here? Finally, I woke up and my head was in pain. I threw up. Was something trying to reenact the scene using me? Or was I that coward once?

So busy I didn't have time to. I've been searching for nice tees but I couldn't find any. So I came up with something simple. Hopefully, cheap too. Have been doing this like forever but never did. Now wishing something could come out of this real soon. I will try to get new stories back here, but meanwhile stay with me!

Almost-Ed

You said you were sorry
You said it's all your fault
You cried miserably

I said it's alright
I said it's not your fault
You cried dramatically

I consoled you the other way round
You hugged me all around
We parted ways this time round

If letting go was what you want
I'd released the rope

I lived in the shadow
You shine in the bright
I stumbled and fell
While you climb and triumph

Since you show me the way
I have no choice but to leave

Those times we spent
Were nothing compared to your fun
Forsaken were my commitments
There you threw them all around

Your tears are precious
Don't you cry again

I tried to stay strong
I tried to hide it all
I have hidden them well
But I just can't deceive myself

All the best I'm wishing you
As for the rest, please do not turn back

A poem dedicated to my dear colleague.

Quote of the day

This is hilarious. Classic comment after Liverpool won 2-0. Is it sarcasm or pure stupidity? Anyways, Torres' goal was tremendous. Well, enjoy.

'It wasn't working for them. That is why they brought on three substitutes. One at £25m, one at £11m and one at £5m. I think there should be cap on the price of players you can bring on, maybe no more than £20m of players.'

quoted by Fulham boss Lawrie Sanchez

*contents taken from soccernet.com

MIG II - Man In God II

I met God once and I was even God for once. So after that incident, I did not believe in ghost, spirit nor Satan. Till one day, I encountered it.

This girl was around the age of 15. When I first saw it, I almost shitted in my pants. She had the most terrifying features. Her eyes were hollow and bleeding from all her crying. The dried blood stick to her cheek. Her face was as pale as a sheet.

With my elbow touching my foot, I sat in that position for 15 minutes. I was sniffing my stuff. Reaching the peak, I gasped. My eyes were looking at each other. The aroma was getting the better of me when she appeared right in front. Imagine having to stand on the highest mountain on earth, Mount Ang Mo Kio, taking in the essence of the quality air up there and suddenly, an Ice Big-Foot appeared right in front of you. I was at the peak of the kicks and I felt this in my heart. She terrorised me instantly with her deadly stare. Her face was just 2 centimeters away from mine. I did not move an inch. I could smell the stench from her mouth.

Drop that, you pathetic drug abuser!

She demanded with her bassly voice. I was dumbfounded. Looking straight into her eyes, everything flashed in my head. It happened within a second. I dropped the packet I was holding and crawled away from her. Each attempt to crawl away from her, I was being drawn back to the same spot. I was crawling on the spot! With my head still containing the drugs' effect, I could feel Fear. Never once did I feel Fear feeding on drugs. It supposed to supply Courage, not Fear! I was still looking down at the ground, my limps were moving non-stop. Hoping she could lift off the curse any second and I could crawl away soon. But that wasn't the case.

I need you to help me and I promise you will never regret it. Are you going to take this deal bitch?

Of course! Are you kidding? I'll do anything!

But those words of mine, I could not move a single muscle to open my mouth. My pants were wet by this time.

I don't think you have any choice here. Take me to the place where you met that asshole.

..Who?

Stop playing dumb you fuckbag, that piece of old shit that let you played him for once.

Ookaay, I guessss that God? I thinnnk I er..

Move your ass bitch!

I reached the place where I've met God. Everything seemed like it just happened yesterday. The pool of flames and the christians. That demon started chanting some unknown language which sounded like Spanish to me. Then, this old man appeared. He was the God! The both of them stared at each other for the longest time. Turning their heads towards me, I was rooted to the spot once again. There I was brought to another dimension again.

In this dimension, there was only the three of us. And in front of me now, was two pools of flames! One pool with christians in it and the other, with all the satanists. All of them were crying and screaming from the endless pain they were suffering. Both God and Satan started to bombard me with questions.

O son, you disappointed me with your last decision. But, it's alright. Everyone makes mistake. I know you regret your choice. Now, you'll have another chance to redeem yourself.

Shut the fuck up oldfuck. You know shit! I will reward him with all the 3-Ps. Everything to gain rather than having to save lives and ended up sniffing his pathetic glue! Eh bitch, all the 3-Ps. Power, Possession and Pussies. Are you in for it?

O son, hear no evil. Don't let him influence your kind heart. Make your choice son.

Kill all the muthufucking christians and the 3-Ps are yours PAL!

Their noises were making me irritated. I inspected my surrounding. It was the same. Kerosene on my left and fire-proof lifebuoys on my right. The two pools' flames were getting so hot that I could feel it even standing metres away. The two of them were still debating while their people down there were screaming for help. I thought it over. I think I gotta save them all. I took all the lifebuoys and threw them all into the two pools. One by one, they swam their way to safety. They were all by the side of the pool, not believing that they survived the ordeal. Satan and God were shocked that I saved all of them. Their eyes in disbelief, Why did you save them all? You had only one choice!

Now, it's your turn to try your own shit! Get into the pool both of you!

I was backed up by all the people whom I saved. I instructed all of them to get the two of them into the pools! One in each! There, Satan and God being submerged in their own creations! Screaming and yelling for help.

No help this time my son, I told God.
Not this time, you muthufucking BITCH! I yelled at Satan.

With that, I poured all the remaining kerosene into the pools. Burn mutherfuckha BURN! Their screams continued for another minute. This time after a minute, there wasn't any more sound coming from within. Instead, I heard applauses and cheering. I turned around. All of them were kneeling and praying to me. Their lives were saved by me. I was their new God. Or Satan? I guess, Godan. They offered their eternity's devotion to me. I was the new breed of God and Satan. Their creation. Their product.

There, conquering this fucked up world and turning it into my own ideal world. With my very own pioneer group of devotees. I aimed to bring a whole new level.

Ask.
Change.
Create.

I just scrambled everything here. And I can never stop. Sometimes, I type without thinking. I apologise if the contents offended you. And if you think some are rubbish, let those rubbish stay and you shall move on.

Jenni

I was with this lady. I met her when I was hospitalised a year ago. She was five years elder than me. She was gorgeous. She was every men's dream. Having her means everything to anyone. Her name was Jenni. But her husband thought elsewise. Her husband was rich. She need not worry over her meals and expenses. All was taken care of. She had all the branded stuffs from handbag to even her lingerie. But she just wanted love. She wanted care, concern and attention from him. He was always busy with work. Coming back from work late at nights was understandable, but having lipstick marks on him was too much. She couldn't take it. She was always crying. Till she met me. The cries was replaced by smiles on her face. I could see she was very happy. I was happy too. We met almost everyday.

She showered me with expensive gifts and her utmost love. She would drive me anywhere. She would pay for our meals and expenses. She even rented a condominium and offered me to stay with her. Why not? I could get to see her everyday. Other than all that, each time we met, she would buy me an apple. Puzzled by that, one day, I asked her.

Why apple, gorgeous?

When I was dating with my husband, he would buy me an apple everyday. Those were the sweet times. But now.. well, so I hope our love and time spent together will be as sweet. Don't you be like him one day!

I noticed that her eyes were red by the time she finished. So not to further rub it in, I stopped asking. I stole a glance at her. Her lips was tilted upwards. She was smiling while tears slipped from her watery, sparking eyes. The smile was telling me, For all the unhappy past I had, they are all parried away the day I met you. I am so glad and fortunate to have you. I will never forget that smile. It was the sweetest smile I've ever witnessed. I dried her tears as she embraced me. It was, indeed, the best moment in my life.

Though the five years age gap, there wasn't anything we would not talk about. We were very close. She would tell me everything about her and I would tell her too. We were just like a normal couple. Just that I was with a married lady.

Everything went smoothly till one day. She stopped contacting me. I was devastated. My world seemed to be collapsing. There wasn't any light. I tried calling her, messaging her. I never did succeed. The place where we called home was so quiet without her. I tried for weeks. Finally she replied my text message,

Don't call me anymore. I think we should put a stop to our relationship. Take care, Bye.

Why? Did he find out about us? He wants you back? Please, why?

He apologised for everything he did. I guess I still love him. The time you and me spent together were really sweet. Thanks for everything and making me the lady that was showered with the love, care and concern. I will miss the times we spent together. Take care my love, bye.

With that, she did not reply any further. I called her. I tried every means of getting her back. But to no avail. The time without her was agonising. Months later, I received a phone call that she passed away. The caller was anonymous and that lady gave me an address. I rushed over and arrived at this grand mansion. Inside the compound, I saw Jenni's car! Wanting to find out more from her family or even her husband, I shouted. Her servant was at the door. She let me in without asking me any question. I was puzzled. Did her servant know about my relation with her? I wandered to the living room and happened to come across a photo of us on the table. It was last taken when we met up. I was hugging her and both of us were smiling happily.

Something is wrong here!

Seeing nobody was around except for the servant, I rushed up the stairs to her room, simply not giving a damn whether her husband was around. I seem to know where her room was. I opened the door, and I was taken aback by what greeted me. The huge master bedroom was so grand, with all their pictures framed all over the wall. There was this huge picture on the wall. It was their wedding photo. I went over to inspect closer at her husband. I wanted to see for myself who was the bastard that had that luck to have such a gorgeous and wonderful wife.

I was shocked. That face, that guy looked familiar! That.. that bastard was me! I retreated with disbelief. I was puzzled. What on earth? I looked around at all the pictures in the room. Those photographs are those we took when we were together! Just then, her servant stepped into the room.

Sir, you're finally back. Madam instructed me to hand you this letter.

Hey Love,
You're finally back in our own home. Remember you told me that you don't love me? I did not take those words. I know you love me. Now I know you really do. I will always love you too. I know this seems too sudden for you to take it. But you see my love, you had an accident. You lost your memory and you couldn't remember me. Maybe it was a good thing. Before you had that accident, you said you wanted a divorce. And after that accident, you couldn't remember anything about us. So I guess that accident helped to savage our love. But please forgive me my love. I know I'm selfish but I am so scare. So scare that if I were to tell you about all these beforehand. I would lose you. So I rather not. I chose to have a fresh start with you. Sorry for not answering your calls, I did not want you to hear my dying voice, see my dying looks. I just want you to have the best of me, not the worst of me. You see, I contacted cancer all these years and only found out months ago. Sorry for being selfish and all the happy times we had, I will never forget them. Thanks for giving us another chance. I love you always. You are the apple of my eye too. Your sweet love for me, are all in the cabinet.
Goodbye, my love.

Your Apple, Jenni

Hey love, why an apple every single day?

Cause.. You're the apple of my eye, Jenni. And I want to show you that no apple is sweeter than you.

I opened up her cabinet. Thousands of apples filled the whole interior of it. Those were the apples I gave to her. I broke down in tears. Sorry. Now that I recalled, my apologies came a little too late.

She wrote..

I wrote about her, I wrote to her. Enough of my words to her. She wrote to me too.

4/13/2005 10:42:25 PM *[t|n9]* i miss u
4/13/2005 10:56:00 PM *[t|n9]* i missx the way u hug mi
4/13/2005 10:56:13 PM *[t|n9]* the way u wan stuck ur legs within mine
4/13/2005 10:56:32 PM *[t|n9]* the way u scold mi stupid when i played games
4/13/2005 10:56:38 PM *[t|n9]* and u wana try it on
4/13/2005 10:56:47 PM *[t|n9]* i missx u and ur everything
4/13/2005 10:56:53 PM *[t|n9]* im sorrie wat've i done
4/13/2005 10:56:59 PM *[t|n9]* im sorrie


Finally, I revived the 1.58mb chat logs. At least, I can smile back on everything we had.

:)

I don't love you.

You asked me, When is the rain going to end? I told you, It's not going to stop till you say 'Yes'. The heavy rain pouring down regardlessly. Somehow, I felt awful to the silence. The tapping of rain drops did not help at all. The silence was too concentrated. As we stood under the shelter, I could see every single detail of her pale face.

Can you tell me where is the rainbow? The heavy downpour is affecting my vision. I don't see any. I want to tell him that so bad. Tell him that I can't, I can't take that feeling back. How I wish this rain could stop. So I could just run away from him. I can't bring myself to say Yes. I say nothing at all. To think that this rain will stop, it never did and never will.

I buried it in my head for too long. I didn't think that it could just escape my lips just like that. I uttered something and ran away from the rain. Or did I try to escape from her? I guess it can't be helped. As I ran, there wasn't any sound from her still. I did not turn back. As I ran, my legs hurt but I can't stop now. I could not bring myself to face her again. It was all my fault.

He mumbles, Sorry and run away. I can't bring myself to stop him. I stand there looking at him. As he distances away, I feel that I have lost something. Something important. A raindrop lands on one of my slippers. As I look down, another drop lands. It was not the rain from the sky. It was the rain from my eyes. The next moment, I cry. How could he said that? How could I say Yes? I am supposed to be the one running away.

Can you let me go? Thinking about the question makes me guilty. To date, I still can't find any better option than running away. I don't mean it, girl. I am sorry. I am not worthy for you.

The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there was three little pigs. They were growing up to be some fine pigs so their mum decided to let them go out to the world to find their own homes. So three of them left for the forest. They came across this straw man and a whole mountain of straws. The first pig decided to build it's house with straws, so he got some straws and started building it. The two other pigs continued their way to find other means of building their homes. They came across this woodcutter with piles of wood. So the second pig asked for some wood and he got it. So he got some wood and started building his house. The last pig continued his way in the forest. He happened to come across this construction bangala with bricks. He asked for some bricks to build it's house, so he got some bricks and started building it.

Finally, the three pigs finished building their own homes. Relaxing in their own homes with a cup of hot tea sure made their day. Looking at the furnishes and their first home they built. They were very proud indeed. Golden strips of sunlight escaped from the horizon as the sun made her way home. It was getting dark and the first pig was getting ready to sleep when he heard a voice out from the front door of his straw house.

Hey pig hey pig, could you let me in so I could eat you as my dinner?

No no big bad wolf, I won't open up and you won't get a piece of me!

Then in that case, I will have to use force!

So the big bad wolf huffed and puffed. He managed to blow the whole of the straw house down. The first pig ran as fast as it could.

Fuck that straw man! Why didn't he warn me about the weak straw? Nooooooo

But how could he outrun the big bad wolf? It was after all, just a pig. Pigs are stupid, right? As a result, the first pig was eaten as an appetiser. So the big bad wolf walked on to find it's main course for the night. And then he saw this wood house.

Hey pig hey pig, could you let me in so I could eat you as my dinner?

No no big bad wolf, I won't open up and you won't get a piece of me!

Then in that case, I will have to use force!

So the big bad wolf huffed and puffed. He manged to blow the door of the wood house down. The second pig was trapped.

Fuck that woodcutter! Why didn't he remind me to build a back door? Nooooooo

How could he forget to build a back door? It was after all, just a pig. Pigs are stupid, right? As a result, the second pig was eaten as the main course. So the big bad wolf walked on to find it's desert for the night. And then he saw this brick house.

Hey pig hey pig, could you let me in so I could eat you as my dinner?

No no big bad wolf, I won't open up and you won't get a piece of me!

Then in that case, I will have to use force!

So the big bad wolf huffed and puffed. But no matter how he huffed and puffed, the brick house did not move an inch! Not even a centimeter! So he decided to climb up the brick house through the chimney to enter the house. In the end, he was being cooked dinner for the third pig instead! Big Bad Curry Wolf!

Hahahaha, look how clever am I as a pig? Don't you agree? I am such a genius!


From this classic story, can we see something common in us humans too? More than often in life, when things are fucked up somewhere, we don't look at ourselves as the mistake. Often or not, we shift the blame on others so that it could possibly make us feel better. Ultimately, when things are going our way, we don't look at others as the considering factor. We don't pinpoint at others. Instead, we direct all the praises and credits to ourselves. Look at the third pig. Did he even thank the bangala who gave him the bricks? All in his head was probably, I am the man! YAY! Would you ever think of others when you succeed? Well, maybe..

We are after all, just humans. Humans are selfish, right?

Src of '3 little pigs' picture// Unknown

Those words.

As she turns away,
My hand stays
She didn't let it go
Her teary eyes look into mine
My heart glitters with hope once again

Why did you say all those words?
Take those words back and go

As she distances away,
My mind does not render much help
The words appear so clear in my head
But those words..
Yet those words just don't seem to reach out

Why did you say all those words?
Take them back and go

As she speaks tearfully
All those words..
Does it make sense at all?
Her actions contradicting every word
How I wish she could just speak nothing at all

Why did you say all those words?
Take those words back and go

As she leaves
My heart sinks without a fight
And after all this while and all the tears
It's when you hope she could stay
Well, that was yesterday

Why did you say all those words?
Take them back and go

As I cried from bleeding long time ago
I discovered those words were only words
Looking up at the bright blue sky questions my persistence
Should I stay or should I go?
All the answers seem so clear to me now

Why did you say all those words?
Take those words back and go
Do you even have the guts to say
'I don't love you'
And maybe..
I would not try so hard

Inspired by I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance

Mr Memories

Memories. He is the old man who stores all the memories on earth in millions and billions of his little glass tubes. Your memories, are part of his job.

The room is filled with glass tubes. Millions of them. Each one of them contains saga seeds. The number of seeds vary in each tube. Some tubes are huge and contain hundreds of seeds while others barely contain tens. He drops a seed into another half-filled tube. He handles every single seed and tube with care. Not dropping any of them. The old man sigh heavily as he scopes a small portion of sand into one of the tubes filled with seeds.

It was another boring weekend for him. Accompanying his girlfriend to the park once again. He hated it. The hot sun, the warm afternoon and the mosquito bites. Sitting on the bench, he waited impatiently. His girlfriend was busily picking up saga seeds under the trees. The girl loved collecting saga seeds. At the end of the day after picking up all the seeds she could find, she would get a bag, filled it with sand, then dropped all the seeds she collected in it.

Sands? For?

For planting my own saga tree one day, my dear.

Why are you giving yourself extra work? Don't be silly! Or at least, you should separate the seeds and the sand.

She replied with a smile. He loves the way she smiled. Nothing could resist it. He would give in to her everytime she smiled. But the girl was always the one compromising. She would always be the one to apologise. One day, they had a heated argument. The girl cried. Why can't he put down his pride for once and apologise to me? Hurt and frustrated, she ran off without turning back. They did not contact each other for days. Days later, he received a letter. It was from her.

Dear,

I know you won't contact me. But I still waited for the whole night for your call. For that matter earlier, I apologise. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have ask you out that day. I know you're busy with your work. I just wanted to show you the seeds. You see, for each day out with you, I used a tube to contain the seeds in it. A tube represents a day with you. Each seed represents our happy moment together. And the sand, I used it to pour over the seeds everytime we quarrelled. But I realised something after I poured the sand in. Even if I were to filled the sand to the brink, I could still see those seeds. I told myself that no matter how unhappy our arguments might be, how ugly those words might sound, I still could not erase those happy memories with you. Cause I love you so much that I can't see the sand anymore. You can't have a saga tree from planting it's seed. But all I wish for is to give all these thousands of tubes in exchange for a tree like you. A tree that will shelter me from the hot sun so that I could pick more saga seeds for us.

Yours.

He regret saying all those angry words. Those words must have hurt her. He went over to her place but she wasn't around. No answer on the cell. Where is she? Oh! The park! He rushed over to the park where they used to go every weekend. Wait! Hanging on every branch of the tree, are those tubes she mentioned about. Thousands of tubes hanging on the tree. There she was, lying motionless under the tree. He rushed over to her. It was too late. She fell from the tree trying to attach the last glass tube on the branch. Tightly held in her right, was the glass tube, un-shattered and perfect with those red seeds. This one, was without any sand in it.

:)

Her friends were waiting for her at the bus stop. Other bystanders were all looking at us. There, her boyfriend sitting there, looking upon and not saying anything. We were on the grass patch just metres away from that bus stop. We played and hit each other. My tee was stained with mud after rolling on the grass. She injured her knee and her whole body was with mud and grass. I could tell that she was enjoying herself despite the fact that her boyfriend was looking on with jealousy. I was jubilant. After what seem like forever, we decided to stop. By this time, I realised all her friends were gone. No jealous boyfriend at that bus stop. All that were left were those people waiting for their buses. She realised it too. She reached for her handphone and saw a message. It was her boyfriend, saying that he was disappointed. Her face turned sad for a moment. Looking at her, dirty and injured, I offered her to come over my place to clean up.

See lah, I'm injured and it's all your fault! :(

I am sorry, let me carry you.

She put her arms around my neck. It's been so long since we have been so close. I miss those times we were together. Now that you are here with me, I will treasure every single moment with you.

We reached home and I didn't realise the sun is so bright from the inside of my room. I blinked once, twice. I tried to shield off the light but it was coming from all directions. I opened my eyes. I see yellow all round. I took the towel off my eyes.

What time is it?

It's already 4.30.

Fuck, it was a dream. I got up, thinking about it for a second. Back to work with a smile.

But I'm glad she came back just for me :)

My god, it's the iPod Touch my goodness. I am drooling all over now. *slurps

Innocence

One of my cousin asked me hundred of questions. I will not emphasise on those questions but instead, the answer. Noted that it is not in plural. Yup, everything leads me to A conclusion. He has got himself a girlfriend! But those questions, they are so pure. Innocence. Which reminds me of what I was. Everyone has got his innocence times you fuckbag so stop laughing.

In my family, all my cousins, I'm considered the second eldest. Second big head. My eldest cousin is a year older. So I think the most outstanding one among all is no other than me. My favourite young cousin , Primary 5, isn't playing a fool outside. He doesn't play soccer, doesn't go to the playground after school and does his homework everyday. What the heck? His results are damn good though. (Compared to me)

When i was around his age, I lied to my mum telling her that i have tuition after school and i went to the gameshop below my block to play computer games! If i wasn't mistaken, 1 hour cost around 4-6 bucks. I played for around 3-4 hours. It was already 6.30pm, it's getting late and I'm having this bad feeling that my mum found out about my lie so i decided to fight my last round before i go. Just when I finished having this thought, I saw a familiar face outside the glass panel. Eh? What! This time I am going to be a dead piece of meat! I remembered vividly I stick my tongue out. My mum's face is just like the Malaysia Bear, so black and fierce. I can smell Despair, Disappointment, Damage and.. Death! I was whacked pretty hard after i followed her home quietly. As a result, grounded for god-knows-how-long.

My other cousin, 15 years of age, doesn't go out with his friends during holidays, doesn't play any sports and trying very hard to impress people by asking me how do I spike my hair upwards. His school results around the same compared to me. (I think i won him)

When I was around his age, I went Orchard with my friends even after school to have a taste of the world. And thinking that wearing school uniform with the shirt being untucked is way fucking cool. I played soccer everyday after school till 6pm and as a result, my results suck. Though i was not a good student, still, I had that basic innocence that a student should have.

After all the flashbacks i brought you guys to, it's the 'Innocence' that i am emphasising on. All good things come to an end i guess. Those were the times when our innocence brought us to questions and things, we did and asked. Been there, done that? Those were also the times when I was.. fucked by a lady.

There goes my innocence.

The Pencils.

情人的眼泪 (演唱: 姚苏蓉)

"I like you all these years, do you feel me too?"

I've been hiding all my feelings
In my precious little box
Hopefully one day
I can show them all to you
They contain those feelings i wanna express
Those feelings that i can't bring myself to speak
To only put down in words
If only i have the courage
One day, maybe till the day I'm gone
You'll get to know all my feelings all these years

I've been keeping all my troubles
In my bottomless long bottle
Hopefully one day
I can pour them all to you
It contains all my downs and outs I experienced
Those troubles that i can't bring myself to say
To only put down in words
If only i have the courage
One day, maybe till the day I'm gone
You'll get to know all my troubles all these years

I've been concealing all my wishes for you
In my locked drawer of mine
Hopefully one day
I can give them all to you
They contain all the birthday wishes behind each
present I've got for you
Those wishes that i can't bring myself to greet
To only put down in words
If only i have the courage
One day, maybe till the day I'm gone
You'll get to know all the presents and wishes
I've got for you all these years

I've been writing all these inside of me
With those pencils you gave to me
Hopefully one day
I can get your love instead of pencils
They contain all my love for you
The love that i can't bring myself to confess
To only put down in words
If only i have the courage
One day, maybe till the day I'm gone
You'll get to know all my confessions all
these years..

Through these pencils, my dear girl

p.s*these 2 poems are for my 'emo' friends. let's start to be emo kids!

The Diaries.

"Do you know that I like you all these years?"

I've been hiding all my feelings
In my precious little diaries
Hopefully one day
I can show them all to you
They contain those feelings i wanna express
Those feelings that i can't bring myself to speak
To only put down in words
If only i have the courage
One day, maybe till the day i'm gone
You'll get to know all my feelings all these years

I've been keeping all my troubles
In my precious little diaries
Hopefully one day
I can pour them all to you
They contain all my downs and outs I experienced
Those troubles that i can't bring myself to say
To only put down in words
If only i have the courage
One day, maybe till the day i'm gone
You'll get to know all my troubles all these years

I've been concealing all my wishes for you
In my precious little diaries
Hopefully one day
I can give them all to you
They contain all the birthday wishes behind each
present I've got for you
Those wishes that i can't bring myself to greet
To only put down in words
If only i have the courage
One day, maybe till the day i'm gone
You'll get to know all the presents and wishes
i've got for you all these years

I've been writing all these inside of me
In those diaries you gave to me
Hopefully one day
I can get your love instead of diaries
They contain all my love for you
The love that i can't bring myself to confess
To only put down in words
If only i have the courage
One day, maybe till the day i'm gone
You'll get to know all my confessions all
these years..

Through these diaries, my dear boy

www.saw4.com

Today is such a lovely day. With the sun so bright, the butterfly is enjoying it's usual tour around the flowers outside my window. I miss this scene so much. It's been raining for all my off days. After coming back from work after a whole night of rocking and drifting, the last thing you wanna see is the rain pouring down on you. Now, that's what I'm talking about. The sun, oh and the flies. With only the smoke I exhaled spoiled the beautiful scenery. Other than that, everything is so prefect and i love it this way. With this, the world is so beautiful and how I hope this could last. But well, all good things come to an end. And as I'm typing this sentence, the hell truck parked itself just below my block. The truck that delivers your unwanted goods and food. Good timing.

I realised something about most of my friends. They are getting more 'emo' as time goes by. Every single post or every single thing they do, they can relate it to their love life. I suggest purchasing the Old School Gay Pop album from me. I'm compiling it. Sometimes, you can't blame humans too. I can be that 'emo' too. That's why i hate so much about our humans' emotions. I really wish i can remove them. It's irritating and I don't mind being a Martian.

I just managed to come across this. What?! Alright,i thought it's all over. But hey, it's back! I'm a fan of SAW! Let's go watch it everybody!

Mother of the dolls

Where is mummy?
Where is daddy?
Uncle is hurting me daddy..
mummy where are you?!

She wanted all the candies in the world. Her cabinet has all the dolls she wished for. But nothing is enough for little Audrey herself.

'Mummy, i want that talking doll! She's cute!' Of course, her mother did not buy it. Her cabinet contains hundred of dolls already.

She was a very happy kid. Lined up on her bed were all her little dolls. Each one with a different face and personality. The dolls never failed to brighten up her days. By her bed every night, they watched her to sleep.

One day after school, Little Audrey was missing. She was last seen with a man at her favourite playground.

Now that she's gone. All of her dolls miss their little mother. How she would comb their hair. Dressed them up with costumes for different occasions. Now that she's gone, her parents regret not buying her that doll. How she would react if they were to buy her that. It's too late now.

All the dolls in the world couldn't bring little Audrey back. No amount of tears shed could do that.

It's six in the evening, the playground was filled with kids. Merry go round, noisily enjoying themselves after school. But it seems so quiet for Audrey's parents. They won't be able to bring her here anymore, just the sight of kids ache them. To rub salt on their wounds, there was still no news of Little Audrey. Weeks, months, years.. But they did not give up. They waited patiently for their Audrey to come back home. They just hope one day she would come running back home.

Till one day, Audrey was found dead. And what's worse, she was sexually abused.

Her parents' hope was shattered. A five years old kid does not deserve this. They were devastated. But till now, they are still waiting. Waiting for little Audrey to skip back home one day. And other than that, they are still waiting, wanting so bad to see who was the one who killed their beloved Audrey.


*This story may seems similar to the link. This is nothing but a story I dedicate specially for those kids up there*

MIG - Man In God

That particular tuesday morning, I met God himself. He worn a dark brown cloak, without any footwear. He approached me along a busy street while I was heading to work, with His head facing downwards, he said, 'My son, I've heard alot about you.'

I told him even He was God, He needs to show basic courtesy by looking at that person when talking to him or her. So He raised His head and I saw it. In His eyes, I saw countless of people screaming in pain. Like they are all trapped in a sea of flames. Or to be exact, Hell.

I backed off immediately. I could feel the agonies and sufferings of those people, just like I was there too! They were yelling out to me. He continued patiently, 'I heard everything my Christians said to you. I heard them all.'

I was trembling in fear. Who the hell is he? Why the fuck is he telling me this? My head turned heavy, with fears and doubts. He inced a step closer to me. Stop!

By now, I realised something. No beard. No long poor conditioned hair. Instead, short trimmed hair in place.

Wait! That face! It was me! What the fuck?!

I swear, it.. just evolved! I must be seeing things! With another step closer, He inced towards me. Is this another terrifying nightmare of mine? No, it can't be. It's far too real!

'Son, this is what you wanted. I threw them all to Hell. Now that nobody can influence you, you should be happy, right?'

Are you mad?! Of course i won't be. I was rooted to the spot. I stood there staring back at him, though i wanted to speak up, no word came out from my mouth. After all, would you talk to a person or God that exactly resembles you? He smiled, 'I know you don't mean what you said. Now son, here's a chance to save them all. You'll be God in this dimension for this moment. Or at least, in this fucked up world.'

With that, he disappeared. I looked around for him. I was not on the street where I was at. Instead, what greeted me was a pool of flames. Inside, those Christians were screaming, 'We are sorry for influencing you my friend, save us please. Only you can do it now!'

I inspected my surroundings. Kerosene on my left and fire-proof lifebuoys on my right. Well, of course i will save them. After that session with God, I was more than certain that I could do it. Even God agrees with me.

'Alright guys, hang on. I'll save you all from staying in this fucked up world.' With that, I poured the whole tin of kerosene to haste their dying process.

The screams were getting louder. I covered my ears. Bear with it. I waited for five minutes.

Slience.

Mission Accomplished.

those times.

I've been listening to rock and metal for too long. Blasting the earphones wherever i go with Slipknot, Marilyn Manson, Ill Nino, Saosin, Korn, Payable on Death and the list can go on. Whatever it is, i think i'm sick of these! Nowadays, i listen to Old School Gay Pop! (Oh yah! Btw i down... er i mean i just BOUGHT the Hairspray OST! HAHAHA, the songs make you wanna dance with your parents!) It's a new genre of music OSGP. It's time to change too, guys. If you want a taste of real gay pop, pm me. I won't reveal it to anyone i swear. I've got all the old school gay pop songs! Whenever i listen to these songs, i've got this feel balls. I simply can't put into words how this feel comes about. I grew up listening to those songs so maybe i guess it's too long since i touch them. So when it comes to me, naturally the feel is back and that is sensational i tell you! Just like when your first bf/gf asking you for a patch. It's the same feeling, i swear. Or simply, just like what Coleman said, Am i really a gay?






Oh,I almost forgot about this when I came across it while I was browsing my folders. A short film we attempted when i was back in NAFA. The idea is fantastic, the process was fun, but the execution sucks. Sorry for the 'Oh! It's shoooooo scaaryxxs that i almost shit my pants out' feeling. And yes, what we tried to portray was a horror flick. I know, don't rub it in please. But I like the color treatments of the different scenes cause i was the colorist. :D

LFC

After watching the match between Liverpool and Spurs, I realised that it's time to stop pinning my hopes so high. I was a reds supporter since i was primary 4 and at that point of time, Liverpool finished a few seasons at the mid of the table. Fifth, sixth or ever seventh. Most of the time, she disappointed me. Liverpool had their Fowler and Macca as their icons and that was the time my favourite soccer star Michael Owen still holding on the number 18. That was 1996. I told myself, maybe give her a decade to change everything. Maybe after ten years, Liverpool could lift the EPL trophy.


I was wrong. Now, it's more than ten years and Liverpool still did not lift it. I can't help by remaining negative cause seriously, I've stick with the team for 11 years or so. She disappointed me countless of times. She made me proud too, not once but quite a number of times. They lifted the League Cup. Well Man U fans actually mocked us about the League Cup, 'What's that? League Cup Oh my god. We can give that to you lah cause we have all the MAJOR cups in the world.' But last season, did i saw their first team for the finals? Other than the league cup, Liverpool lifted the UEFA cup and FA cup. Which eventually won 'What the fuck treble' in a season. To us, though this is nothing compared to Man U's treble, we are still that proud. From Roy Evans, to Gerard Houllier. I am with Liverpool all the way. So now, i don't think there is any thing to be disappointed about, it can't be that bad as 1996 right? Compared to then, she made vast improvements! Rafa Benitez help us won the Champions' League and brought signings like Xabi Alonso and now Torres!



What can we complain about? Every season, Liverpool are one of those favourites to win the EPL, but come on let's face it! Give Liverpool 10 more years, i still don't think they can lift the EPL trophy :( It's sad but come on, for fans like me, we have nothing more to disappointed about. And let's not pin our hopes too high, Champions' League? We can only managed to win then, not now or in the future. The point is, I would stand by Liverpool even she was to be relegated to Division 1, or even non league! I am very sure i will. Just do not pin your hopes too high, fellow Liverpool fans. Well, just good luck and whatever shit happens, I'll be here rooting for you. Liverpool F.C! You'll never walk alone!

Whosgoing2getfuckedtonight.SG

I can't stand whosgoing.sg. I think it is a total bullshit. People still upload their pictures with that little whosgoing.sg logo on the bottom right and think it's cool to get shot. It is just like telling people, 'Hey look, I patronise clubs every single weekend and I am fuck-able. Wanna fuck?' Well, then if that's the case. I created a brand new logo for you! Drop a comment if you want it. I'll send it to you, what's more, it's FREE OF CHARGE! Well, i'm just bored ok?

Src of picture: http://www.flickr.com/photos/angel_shark/296096527/

The Goddess of the Golden Serpent

I tried to find anything for it to devour but i could find nothing like her. She is my gem, my love and the perfect food for the golden serpent. I couldn't give her up. For she was the greatest lady i've ever met. So with this, I fought the creature with everything i've got.

Days and nights went by, I was worn out and battled. The serpent displayed no sign of fatigue. It sent another wave of attack. Just when i thought it was the end, it's thorns struck her right in the eyes. She appeared right in front to shield me. I leaped into the air and pierced the angry sword right into the heart of the serpent. It's screams filled the air. Agony was all over my head. The serpent sent a thump to the ground.

I ran over to her. She had her hands in mine. My tears wet her silky hair. Her blood dyed my armour red. The venom was turning her so white. Her pale face was filled with affection. Her dry lips let out a smile. With blood rushing out from her eyes, she spoke in her dying breath,

'My Dearest Prince Charming, for the glory of love, we did it..'

With that, her head collapsed in my arms. I sliced the serpent's eyes with precise and attached it to her necklace. She can still see the world or at least, the serpent we killed.

She is the Goddess of the Golden Serpent.

That girl I'll never understand

Just chatted through msn with a friend this afternoon. She told me that she changed for the better and is a different person compared to years ago. From a bad girl to a good girl and she is mature now. I admit that there are differences from the way her words are phrased, the way she typed and project herself. Though she has changed a little, she is still that immature girl I knew. Her words portrait her world to be so dark, that she is always lost in her world of darkness. She chose it. She can't blame anyone.

The question is that, does pointing out your own changes to others change the way you are? So i turned the table around and asked her, How do you define a bad girl?

The shit I'm talking about

The Best Photograph Ever Taken

Strips of golden lights eased out of the horizon
With valleys and rivers stretching the entire field
It reminded me of my existence in this beautiful world
At least, in this beautiful place
The fragrance of flowers lingered in the air
I stood on the mountains to frame this breathtaking scene
Images after images
I snapped with haste not wanting to miss any second of it

After what seemed to be hours of capturing the paradise on earth
The void in my head persisted
My mind was challenging me
Just when i was thinking what was i missing
This lady graced past me
Her silhouette blocked the bright hot sun
Like how an umbrella would shield you from

The addition of her in this scenary is flawless
The fields behind her was calling out to her
The rivers seemed to stop its flow of water
They were reaching out to her
Without delay
I reached to her too and
took the most mesmerising photograph ever

Her smile bid me goodbye as she disappeared down
the mountain and out of sight
I cheered in delight and jubilance
Thinking that this could be the masterpiece of all
Just when i was being complacent
I tripped
With my camera reaching over to the
valleys below
I dived with everything i've got
It was too late
The camera with the best photograph was gone
Gone to the paradise on earth
With the sun setting
My hopes were shattered
There goes the best photograph ever taken

Differences

Those beautiful imperfection of yours makes my mind go blank. It's a new feel of this world. Step onto a land of 'grass is greener on the other side'. It makes my mind stay, at least, fresh. If you smell it..

Holy cow

Dear Christ, I like you.
I do not like your Christians.
They are so unlike you.

Christians never fail to piss me off. Seriously, some Christians behave like fools when they tell others how God loves everyone. I swear to god, they really look dumb. They are showing their complete ignorance and stupidity. Just like this morning, everyone is looking at each other, and laughing at this self-proclaimed God believer. Don't make a fool out of yourself. If God lives in you, be it. Let it continue living in you and please do not spread your belief to others. What's worse, you really look a retard who had just shit in his pants and not knowing shit is brown in color, you started telling everyone that your asshole just produced Cadbury and you ate it. If you ever possess a brain, use it wisely. Make yourself stupid, it's perfectly fine with me. But please, Jesus isn't suppose to come back yet. Don't make him come back just to teach you that your asshole produced shit, not Cadbury. After all, I still respect Jesus, don't make a fool out of him.

I could never take the place of your man.

It was only last June
When her boyfriend raged again
She couldn’t stop crying
Cause she knew he was going to say..

10:25 on a lonely friday night
She was squating by the stairs
Hmm, she was crying all night

I asked if she wanted to join me
And she said that,
"All she wanted was a good man.."
And wanted to know
If I thought I was qualified

And I said,
"Baby, don’t waste your time
I know what’s on your mind."
I may be qualified for a sidekick stand
But I could never take the place of your man.

It hurt me so bad when she told me
With tears in her eyes
He was all she ever had
And now she wanted to die

He left her with a slap
And another knock on her face
She couldn’t stop cryin’
Cause she knew he was going to say..

She asked me if we could be friends
And I said,
"Oh, honey baby that’s a dead end."
U know and I know
That we wouldn’t be satisfied
And I said,

"Baby, don’t waste your time
I know what’s on your mind."
You wouldn’t be satisfied
With a sidekick stand
And I could never take the place of your man

Edited from : I could never take the place of your man - Jordan Knight

My new fucks

I have countless of ideas. Countless of sleepless nights. Nights like these, I came up with these poems. You left those beautiful memories with me. You are my inspiration. I shall never forget you and i will try to keep those ideas coming in. Till they don't ring any bell, till the cows come home, till i drop, then i will stop. I miss you so much.

Seems like i got myself a hardcore fan named, 'Yang'. Ty, my dear faggot Larry.

Dyeing the Agonies

I wait in vain
My head in pain
My eyes are bleeding with bruises
No amount of antiseptic could cleanse those wounds

Every puff i took
I felt a decayed tooth
Every way i look
Always are those loops

I bled through my skin
Only to find my empty vessel being rinsed
Those cells i slept in
Were nights that contained my scarred inks

Dawn reveals glimpse of hope
I am still entangled in my own jar of ropes
Being tied in this whole tragedy
Is this a prodigy of another heartfelt story

Strips of golden lights escaped
Caught were my foolish acts
I tint the stars so bright tonight
But she is no longer here with me, right?

People = Shit

It was 8:19. I was waiting outside the clinic, waiting for it's grand opening for the day. I was some distance away from the entrance and when i reached, there was already this guy waiting besides the door. This guy who came just after me stood right in front of the entrance and waited. "Aww, well.." Minutes later, more people(=shit,obviously) came and stood besides the entrance. Some simply ignoring the fact that i'm the second one on the list. So well, it's perfectly fine with me cause i'm not in a rush. The nurse came and opened the door. Everyone is queuing up for the registration(noted that i was the last one in the queue) and this guy who i mentioned earlier, was second in the queue when he suddenly turned around and pointed to the space in front of him. He showed me the 'Hey, you're before me' kind of look. So i was surprised and thanked him before walking towards the counter. And, I can see all those 'boys and girls'(they were ladies and gentlemen of at least 28 of age and above but they reacted like they are just born into this world) expressions. Sometimes, it's just a matter of courtesy and opening your mouth stuffed with gold bars. How can they ignore my existence that i was actually much more earlier than them and most of them queued in front of me without even thinking. Talked about being gracious, i guess our people are just too humble to be gracious. How wonderful can Singaporean be? Sometimes after all these little incidents, you would be entitled to a forced smile on your lips. :)

Oversaturated.

You'll never change what's been and gone. So stop crying and be on your way.